It was around Christmas time, when life was all in a hustle and a bustle, and I ran into my friend, Lovely Linda in the cheese section at Wal-Mart. This woman is such a joy-filled, radiant, beautiful Christian and just visiting with her for 5 minutes that day filled my cup. For as long as I can remember, I’ve called her Lovely Linda, and we go way, way back. She actually made my birthday cake when I was 4 years old.:-) Shortly after hubs and I got married, we had Lovely Linda and her dear husband over and they gave us such great advice for a newly married couple, and completely refreshed our souls.
After the brief encounter at Wal-Mart, I felt the Lord say, “You need to share her. She could be a real blessing to some of your friends.” So I said, “Okay, Lord who should I share her with?” and He put some ladies on my heart. The Bible says that the older women are to teach the younger to love their husbands and when we love and reverence our husbands, we are loving Christ. With this in mind, I wanted dear Linda to come teach on something she does very well and that is loving her husband. When I called her to see if she could come, her response was she needed to check with her husband to see if he was working that day, “Because I don’t like to be away from home on his day off.” I thought “And that is exactly why I want you to come share on being a good wife!” Case in point. Thus my little lunch party with Lovely Linda as the guest of honor came about. As she shared her wisdom on being a godly wife, I was busy scribbling down notes so that I wouldn’t forget anything (so that I could share with my sisters, and you, my dear readers). Here are some of the points of wisdom she shared. It is not completely verbatim, but you’ll get the gist of her advice.
-As a wife we need to really look for the good that God has done in our lives. God inhabits the praises of His people so we should be praising Him all day, if we want Him to be near us (Psalm 22:3).
-Everyone is different, that is why we have to accept our husbands just the way they are and just choose to love them. Choose to accept your husband just the way he is. Each of you is different. Don’t try to change each other. Two halves make a whole and you need those differences. You will be “heavenly sandpaper” to each other whether you like it or not. Marriage will show you how selfish you are.
-Remember what the Lord has done and rehearse it verbally. Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever (Heb 13:8). He is still the same God today.
-Think back to why you fell in love and what attracted you to that man.
-Be discreet and don’t be too detailed. Your husband needs to know that he can trust you. Even with best friends be very careful what you tell them.
-Let God change your husband. You just pray, pray, pray and then pretty soon you probably won’t care anymore (“I love that part” she said). You can’t change him ever, and if you could, you wouldn’t like what you’ve changed. Our job as women is to just accept them the way they are and to pray. In times of praying and waiting for God to work, many tears were shed while in prayer. God keeps a bottle up in heaven of those tears.
-Ask the Lord for joy to greet your husband every time he comes home, for joy to serve him and for your home to be filled with joy. When he gets home, look into his eyes with joy and listen to him.
-There might be a time when your husband is very lonely. Try to be in his world enough so that he never feels alone.
-If bad thoughts come to your mind, take it straight to the cross and say, “Jesus died for that for me, so I don’t have to be in bondage to that thought or sin.”
-If you feel angry with your husband say “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus”. Call unto Him and take it to the Lord in prayer. You will find it melts away when you pray.
-If ever your husband asks you to do a job and you think, “I just can’t do that for him”, then do it for Jesus.
-As wives, we control the atmosphere of the home. It is up to us to keep things light. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. Many a husband could be won just by the wife keeping things light. You may think you don’t have a sense of humor, but try to make your husband laugh. Ask God to help you and give you ideas.
-Maybe you’ve studied a little more of the bible or think you know more than your husband. That is dangerous. Self-righteousness is dangerous, very dangerous. He is where he is supposed to be spiritually. He is the head. Let the Lord teach him and not you.
-If you’re feeling overwhelmed as a wife and a mother, take a gratitude walk around the block. Look around at God’s creation and find everything you can to be thankful for and verbally thank the Lord. Be grateful for everything, all the time you do have with people, and focus on all that the Lord has given you, instead of what you don’t have and still want or think you’re not getting.
-Put on the whole armor of God every day. Jesus can’t put it on for us, we have to intentionally put it on every morning. Pray at night before you go to bed, just talk to Jesus. He is our best friend. Put up that shield of faith.
-Every morning ask the Lord to have His way where you sit, stand, how you react, and in conversation.
-You can have everything, but that is not enough. You must get your satisfaction from Jesus.
-If you love your husband with all of your heart, the way the Lord wants you to love, then you cannot believe how much he will love you.
-You grow in the Lord by praying for other people! We are powerful, we are warriors, we are in a battle and we have to bind the enemy. Lift up your husband and other people to the Lord. These days are evil, but Jesus is depending on us to pray. Praying is the best thing you could ever do. When you are Spirit-filled and praying, the enemy and his demons flee! We have power when we pray! The Lord will change hearts and circumstances when we pray. We have a tremendous responsibility to pray!
Thank you Lovely Linda for all of this wisdom!