Category Archives: Gleanings

Lessons from Lovely Linda

It was around Christmas time, when life was all in a hustle and a bustle, and I ran into my friend, Lovely Linda in the cheese section at Wal-Mart. This woman is such a joy-filled, radiant, beautiful Christian and just visiting with her for 5 minutes that day filled my cup. For as long as I can remember, I’ve called her Lovely Linda, and we go way, way back. She actually made my birthday cake when I was 4 years old.:-) Shortly after hubs and I got married, we had Lovely Linda and her dear husband over and they gave us such great advice for a newly married couple, and completely refreshed our souls.

After the brief encounter at Wal-Mart, I felt the Lord say, “You need to share her. She could be a real blessing to some of your friends.” So I said, “Okay, Lord who should I share her with?” and He put some ladies on my heart. The Bible says that the older women are to teach the younger to love their husbands and when we love and reverence our husbands, we are loving Christ. With this in mind, I wanted dear Linda to come teach on something she does very well and that is loving her husband. When I called her to see if she could come, her response was she needed to check with her husband to see if he was working that day, “Because I don’t like to be away from home on his day off.” I thought “And that is exactly why I want you to come share on being a good wife!” Case in point. Thus my little lunch party with Lovely Linda as the guest of honor came about. As she shared her wisdom on being a godly wife, I was busy scribbling down notes so that I wouldn’t forget anything (so that I could share with my sisters, and you, my dear readers). Here are some of the points of wisdom she shared. It is not completely verbatim, but you’ll get the gist of her advice.

 -As a wife we need to really look for the good that God has done in our lives. God inhabits the praises of His people so we should be praising Him all day, if we want Him to be near us (Psalm 22:3).

-Everyone is different, that is why we have to accept our husbands just the way they are and just choose to love them. Choose to accept your husband just the way he is. Each of you is different. Don’t try to change each other. Two halves make a whole and you need those differences. You will be “heavenly sandpaper” to each other whether you like it or not. Marriage will show you how selfish you are.

-Remember what the Lord has done and rehearse it verbally. Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever (Heb 13:8). He is still the same God today.

-Think back to why you fell in love and what attracted you to that man.

-Be discreet and don’t be too detailed. Your husband needs to know that he can trust you. Even with best friends be very careful what you tell them.

-Let God change your husband. You just pray, pray, pray and then pretty soon you probably won’t care anymore (“I love that part” she said). You can’t change him ever, and if you could, you wouldn’t like what you’ve changed. Our job as women is to just accept them the way they are and to pray. In times of praying and waiting for God to work, many tears were shed while in prayer. God keeps a bottle up in heaven of those tears.

-Ask the Lord for joy to greet your husband every time he comes home, for joy to serve him and for your home to be filled with joy. When he gets home, look into his eyes with joy and listen to him.

-There might be a time when your husband is very lonely. Try to be in his world enough so that he never feels alone.

-If bad thoughts come to your mind, take it straight to the cross and say, “Jesus died for that for me, so I don’t have to be in bondage to that thought or sin.”

-If you feel angry with your husband say “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus”. Call unto Him and take it to the Lord in prayer. You will find it melts away when you pray.

-If ever your husband asks you to do a job and you think, “I just can’t do that for him”, then do it for Jesus.

-As wives, we control the atmosphere of the home. It is up to us to keep things light. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. Many a husband could be won just by the wife keeping things light. You may think you don’t have a sense of humor, but try to make your husband laugh. Ask God to help you and give you ideas.

-Maybe you’ve studied a little more of the bible or think you know more than your husband. That is dangerous. Self-righteousness is dangerous, very dangerous. He is where he is supposed to be spiritually. He is the head. Let the Lord teach him and not you.

-If you’re feeling overwhelmed as a wife and a mother, take a gratitude walk around the block. Look around at God’s creation and find everything you can to be thankful for and verbally thank the Lord. Be grateful for everything, all the time you do have with people, and focus on all that the Lord has given you, instead of what you don’t have and still want or think you’re not getting.

-Put on the whole armor of God every day. Jesus can’t put it on for us, we have to intentionally put it on every morning. Pray at night before you go to bed, just talk to Jesus. He is our best friend. Put up that shield of faith.

-Every morning ask the Lord to have His way where you sit, stand, how you react, and in conversation.

-You can have everything, but that is not enough. You must get your satisfaction from Jesus.

-If you love your husband with all of your heart, the way the Lord wants you to love, then you cannot believe how much he will love you.

-You grow in the Lord by praying for other people! We are powerful, we are warriors, we are in a battle and we have to bind the enemy. Lift up your husband and other people to the Lord. These days are evil, but Jesus is depending on us to pray. Praying is the best thing you could ever do. When you are Spirit-filled and praying, the enemy and his demons flee! We have power when we pray! The Lord will change hearts and circumstances when we pray. We have a tremendous responsibility to pray!

Thank you Lovely Linda for all of this wisdom!

How to Deal With Scorning

Well, my baby is overdue and so I’ve got some extra time on my hands.  I decided to revisit my much neglected blog by writing a post that has been on my heart for many months now.  We’ve all had to deal with scorning in one way or another at some point in our lives, and let me just say, that none of the advice here is original.  I’ve been so blessed to learn these things from seeking wisdom and counsel from several godly older mentors on this subject throughout the years, and this post is just a culmination of their advice that I’ve desired to compile and share for quite some time.

First of all, what is the definition of a scorner or what does the term scorning mean?  According to Webster’s Dictionary scorning means:  to show that you think (someone or something) is not worthy of respect or approval: to feel or express scorn for (someone or something)

: to refuse or reject (someone or something that you do not think is worthy of respect or approval)

: harsh criticism that shows a lack of respect or approval for someone or something

Some antonyms of the word “scorn” are honor, respect, accept and approve.  A scorner is someone with a critical spirit and an excessively negative attitude.  No matter what you do or how hard you try this person will never be happy.  They refuse to look for the good and instead thrive on finding as many things wrong as they possibly can with people or situations.   Many times they don’t even realize they are scorning.  By focusing on all the little things that are wrong (which are always easy to find on this side of heaven) they miss the big picture and blessing of how the Lord is working in lives and situations.

Psalm 1:1 says:  “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.”

If you want to be blessed, do not sit in the seat of the scornful.  Don’t allow yourself to sit in that seat or stay there.  The habit of scorning can easily and quickly become a lasting pattern.  It is a dangerous place to sit in because Proverbs 3:34 says: “Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly.”   Who would want God to scorn them?   The Bible has a lot to say about scorning.  Proverbs 22:10 goes on to say: “Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease.”    And Proverbs 14:6 says: A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth.”  If we want wisdom and knowledge, we need to be an understanding people and shun any scornful thoughts or words.

Saul, the first king of Israel, was a scorner.  He is very sharp contrast to Daniel, who the Bible says had an excellent (or a positive spirit) in him.  Which of these two people would you rather spend the day with?  Who are you?  Who am I?  Who are you striving to be like in your own life?  We have to be intentional about this because our human nature is to follow in the way of Saul.  We all have a little bit of Saul in our hearts.

So below is some of the wisdom that has been shared with me and has helped me so greatly:

  1. Make sure you have a thankful heart. The mark of the people in Romans 1 was ingratitude.  Make sure your heart is right with the Lord and continually praising Him so you don’t fall into the trap of scorning yourself.
  1. Put yourself around thankful people who will draw you closer to the Lord Jesus. If you are always around people who have critical spirits and think that they have it all figured out, it will dry you up.  Choose wisely who you will spend your time with. We must guard our hearts and our time against someone who is scornful because it will heavily drain us.  Someone can come and pour out negativity for an hour and after that hour, they are done and have moved on, but the things shared can affect you, your life and thoughts for days and weeks.  It also can have an effect on the people around you, not just one person.  You must stay guarded against this kind of negativity because it will hinder the work for Christ’s Kingdom.
  1. If you can’t lead the conversation in things of edification then you just have to stay guarded or move on.
  1. Don’t take the criticism personally. It is not you, a scorner would find fault with Jesus if He was walking among us.
  1. Ask the Lord for special grace to overlook transgressions. Proverbs 19:11 says: “…it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”
  1. If you have been offended by negativity or criticism, write down your thoughts and hurts so that you can put them out of your mind and stop mulling over them. Running them over in your mind is allowing the hurts to control you, so lay them aside by writing them down and if God opens up an opportunity later, you can share the offence, without rehearsing it your mind a hundred times until then.
  1. Pray for those who have hurt and scorned you. Ask God to bless them, pray for them, if they come to your mind, instead of thinking of all the ways you’ve been hurt, immediately start praying for them.  There is such power in prayer and it is so healing to pray for those who have caused you pain.   This will help guard you from turning around and criticizing or scorning the very person who is scorning you.  It is such an easy trap to fall into and the only thing it will accomplish is bitterness.
  1. Always strive to put yourself in other people’s shoes. You can still protect yourself, be guarded and do this.  Ask God for a heart of compassion for the person who is scorning.
  1. Remember how much you’ve been forgiven and extend that same forgiveness from Christ to the person who has offended you. If you stop that flow of forgiveness, you will become bitter.
  1. Hurting people hurt others. Realize that the person scorning you is probably hurting.  You can break the cycle by asking yourself, am I hurting?  Take your hurts to Jesus and lay them at His feet.  Do not retaliate hurts, but instead show love and mercy.

These tips have made such a difference in my life and have helped me overcome feelings of bitterness that were springing up in my soul.  I hope they can help someone else in some way.   We serve an mighty God who is willing to help change any heart who is hurting and in need of help.